Has God Abandoned Me?

I think most of us have suffered the frustration of destiny delayed. We have a sense of what God wants from us, but try as we might, everything seems to be conspiring against it. Sometimes we wait for years to see our dreams materialize, until we begin to wonder whether we ever heard from the Lord in the first place. And if we did hear correctly, then why isn’t He making it happen?

A friend was recently wrestling with this very thing. Nothing seemed to be working and he wondered whether it wasn’t time to just give it all up. With his permission, I’m sharing a letter I wrote to encourage him. I’ve modified it a bit to preserve privacy, but we both hoped it might encourage someone else.

Dear Friend,

As I was praying for you yesterday, I was reminded that most of the great men of the Bible shared a similar “dark night of the soul” as you’re going through now and I believe there’s hope in their stories.

Joseph, Moses and David come quickly to mind. All three began with great works that served their own people. Moses defended his countrymen when he saw them mistreated. David won tremendous victories as a soldier for his nation. Even Joseph began as his father’s promising “good boy.” None of them was fully appreciated for the good they had done. (Though David won some accolades for a while, his “boss” definitely found him offensive.) All three lost everything then suffered being cut-off (exiled) for a long time from the very ministry it seemed God had called them to. During that season, each one was vastly “underemployed”—Joseph as a slave, servant and prisoner, Moses as a shepherd and David as a freelance mercenary. All of them were capable of so much more, but this was the only work they could seem to find.

I’m sure they all cried out their “whys” to God and got no answers. I’m sure they all ached to have their families back. And probably had times they would have preferred to “chuck it all” if they could have found a way to do it. Their stories read as though their faith never flagged, but reading David’s psalms shows there were very likely great gaps in their confidence, seasons of feeling God was dealing with them cruelly.

How Long, God?

None of them knew how long the hardship was going to continue and probably wondered if the waiting was even survivable. Yet for each one there was a sudden turning—a moment that came out of nowhere when they finally broke free. There was a similarity to the work they performed before, but now it exploded in scope. Joseph began as a favored son who probably knew how to govern the family servants but ended up governing a nation. Moses began guiding sheep and goats and ended as a shepherd for God’s people. David began as a soldier and ended as king.

Difficulties, disappointments and deaths weren’t over, by any means—Jesus warned us these wouldn’t end until He returned—but their relationships with God had been restored, their hearts strengthened, their hide toughened, and they were finally operating out of their spiritual gifts and seeing God once more bless the work of their hands.

Each man’s story covers only a few pages in a book but represents years lived and seasons suffered. Easy to read about, harder to live through. For what it’s worth, you are in distinguished (and deeply loved) company.

One of my favorite Psalms is 18 which begins with David strangling in seaweed and finishes in victory and praise. My favorite part of that Psalm is verses 6-16, where God responds with smoke coming out of His nostrils, parting the heavens and coming down.

In case it helps to know, this is the Psalm I pray for you. That you may soon experience that moment when God grabs you by the scruff of the neck and draws you out of deep waters to set you on dry land again.

You’ve tasted a bit of the fruit of your work so far in the emails you’ve gotten from people who’ve benefited from your ministry. But I doubt you will fully realize just how far its ripples go until God “runs the tape” for you in heaven. I pray you’ll be able to let go of anxiety (it doesn’t repair hearts or create income or produce answers anyway) and settle your heart to rest in Him.

 Why are you cast down, O my soul?
 And why are you disquieted within me?
 Hope in God;
 For I shall yet praise Him,
 The help of my countenance and my God (Psalm 42:11 NKJV).