Wounded Where You’re Gifted

By Shellie Arnold

Have past wounds kept you from walking in your gifts? Let Shellie Arnold’s experience minister to you as you read her guest blog today.

For years I’ve told others I didn’t plan to be a writer and speaker, nor did I want to be. Studying writing craft, learning social media and building a platform—I’ve done only out of obedience to God and His calling. Not because I wanted to or particularly found joy in it.

But if I could choose? For decades my answer would have been “Renovate houses and flip real estate.” The heavier and dirtier the work, the better. I love making ugly things look pretty and wearing paint-stained jeans and no makeup while I do it.

At the beginning of last summer, I thought I knew what God wanted me to do next, and I set to work. By the end of summer, God had directed me to give up four opportunities and connections I knew had come from Him. I was perplexed, frustrated, and grieving, but I was obedient—with tears. I knew enough to lay all that before God and ask Him what He wanted me to do then.

His response? Spend time with Me.

I did. And what I learned is completely changing how I view writing and speaking.

See, the main reason I abhorred platform building and the visibility of pursuing a career (even for the sake of ministry) was rooted in one, long ago, writing workshop leader’s encouragement to “be the face” of our message. I didn’t want to “be the face.” Being the face meant being a target. I didn’t understand why I equated the two, until I sat with God for weeks, praying, listening, worshiping and journaling.

As I did, the Father dug deep in me. He uncovered times throughout my life I’d spoken God’s truth and been ridiculed or rejected. So, “being the face” equaled telling the truth, being a target, then being rejected and hurt and possibly hated. No wonder I found almost no personal joy in writing and speaking—except for the occasional times I knew I’d helped someone. How could I?

I’d been wounded in the area of my gifting.

I don’t mean to imply I was perfect in my youth or am now as an adult. I’m still learning what I share and teach. The point I’m sharing now about me personally is, the traits that made me unique and helped me have a strong voice on the page or in person, put me at personal risk, so I’d unknowingly fought those traits. Yes, I was obedient, but I didn’t like the “me” I had to be to be obedient. I’d rather hide those parts and stay out of the crosshairs.

One day as I wept and prayed, I felt God’s Spirit whisper to mine. “I created you to think and question and process the way you do, because I wanted one of you.”

I wanted one of you.

I am almost fifty-two years old. All my life I’ve heard scriptures about God’s divine hand in creating us. But never before had I considered those verses in light of my personal gifting and calling. I’d never considered the parts of me that made me a target are the exact parts God purposely put in me, because He wanted one of me.

Can I tell you about the healing this revelation has brought me? Can I tell you about the joy now bubbling up inside when I write and prepare to speak? Never have I looked forward to my future as I do today.

If you’ve been wounded in your gifting, would you wander the maze of that hurt today with God? Would you sit with Him? Listen to Him? Let Him sing over you and speak to you that He gave you your particular gifting and calling because He wanted one of you.

And let Him replace all your pain with joy. Joy at the knowledge that even if others ridicule or reject, if you are living righteously, you are exactly who God wanted for Himself when He made you.